Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Writing this one for me

I'm writing a sequel to a book that isn't published yet. Totally normal, right? And no, it's not part of a series. The first is a stand alone. That's all I ever intended it to be. It's probably all it ever will be.

But one day my husband and I were talking about my first book {which I recently rewrote and will be querying soon} and where we thought my main character was now. We talked and talked, coming up with all these great ideas. And this a sequel was born.

Again, I haven't published anything yet, and I wouldn't sell my first book as anything other than a stand alone, so it seems silly to write this. But I've decided, I'm writing this one for me. Trying to get published has kicked me around quite a bit the past few years. I'm constantly trying to improve, rewriting a query, rewriting a book, researching new agents, crossing fingers, throwing fairy dust, and wishing on every eyelash I find. To say this business is disheartening is the understatement of the year. I absolutely know every tear shed will be worth it when I'm holding a published book I wrote in my own hands, but I've still got to get through the process first.

While trying to focus on the business side of things, it's easy to fall out of love with writing. To think you're not good enough. That no one wants your stories. That you don't have what it takes. That you need to squeeze your story into this tightly wrapped box of what sells and what's popular. {this is a bad idea. Don't do this. Always write YOUR story....or that's what I keep telling myself} And I started to hate the way I was thinking of this process. Yet at the same time, I can't pull myself away. Writing everyday has become like brushing my teeth. I just don't feel normal until I do it.

So I started writing a sequel. And I love it. My first book has always been my favorite, and I LOVE going back to those characters. I was pretty mean to my main character at the end of my first book, so I'm excited to give her a little happiness again and see where the world takes her this time.

There's a freedom to what I'm doing. This isn't a book I'll query. It's not one I need to wonder how it fits into today's market. I'm writing it for me. {And my husband and best friend who have been begging me to write this} And at the end of the day, that's what I need to remember. I started this journey for me. To see if I can write a book. Five books later, I have other goals now obviously, but it's nice to go back to the beginning and write, simply for the love of creating words and worlds and characters.